Tuesday, August 16, 2005

I Visited a Brothel... (and all I got was...)

So the other day my friend Avishai calls me asks me if I'd like to help him clean out a brothel. You see he's spending the summer working for a real estate agent and he happened to come into possession of this penthouse in Brighton that was seized by the feds. It was an interesting experience to say the least. On the door there was a nice document stating that the property had been seized by the government for all sorts of lovely charges such as Visa Fraud, Importation of Aliens for Immoral Purpose, Transportation for Illegal Sexual Activity, Persuading and Enticing Illegal Sexual Activity, Encouraging and Inducing Aliens to Come to the United States in Violation of Law, and Bringing an Alien to the United States Without Official Authorization for Commercial Advantage. Apparently he had been smuggling in Estonian women telling them that they would work in his therapeutic massage parlor. Then he made them work in his erotic massage parlor in order to pay for tickets back home. Well the place was sketchy to say the least. We had to essentially clean everything out. And we were allowed to keep anything for ourselves. I scored a printer and a nice pair of dress shoes, don't worry they were new(you might say their pimpin'). We also took over 8 bucks in pennies. This man was obsessed with shoes. He had at least 20 pairs and a pair of hooker boots too unsurprisingly
enough. We ended up dropping off all the clothes and shoes off in some goodwill dropbox. Other notable items found:

-A big porno stash
-Lots of baby oil
-Notebooks with names and numbers (I dare someone to call one and ask for a good time)
-Notebooks with instructions for the girls and rates
-Tons of empty CD cases
-A bottle of milk in the fridge that had been there since he got arrested in May. (I'll try and post a pic later)
-Tons of empty bottles of booze (I don't think he ever threw one out)
-Bank statements showing over 100k in a money market
-His checkbook

All I can say is that I wore a pair of work gloves the whole time.

Oh here are links to articles about this guy: http://www.asiansexgazette.com
http://www.state.gov

Side Rants

-I got a cell phone finally! Picked up a nifty Treo 650. Leave a comment if you want me to e-mail you the number.

-Less then two weeks to go before I start Brandeis. Move-in is the 28th.

-Just in time for me to leave for college my family finally gets DSL.

-Sorry for not posting with any sort of regularity lately. I should eat more fiber.

9 comments:

Charlie Sheen said...

Since he left notebooks with the figures, what is the going rate for a good Estonian 'massage' these days?

Shifra B. said...

You forgot to mention the wonderful scent of whipped cream.

Dani B. said...

According to the books a good Estonian 'massage' goes for $60-$120.

Special Ed said...
This post has been removed by a blog administrator.
Hinda said...
This post has been removed by a blog administrator.
Hinda said...

Oh man. In BRIGHTON? And who's ever heard of an Estonian? Is there a place called Estonia?

Hinda said...

Oh, and that deleted comment was me. Oops.

Karban Nesanel said...

dude thats freakin hysterical. even better than my motel stories...

Zalman said...

I hope you took lots of pictures so when you're 40 and your kids stumble across them you can tell them about how you used to work in the backroom of a strip joint to make ends meet.